Mandatory Breathing

This weekend we had a mandatory child birthing class at the hospital. Talk about exciting. Not really. I went in very unsure of why it was mandatory. The first night started with newborn care. It was a little hard to swaddle because our baby’s arm and leg had fallen off and been put back on backwards. Yikes. I was really wanting to go back home and get in bed (especially at that point) but the “mandatory” was keeping me in my chair. 

It was a rough morning the next day. Luke and I kept missing each other. Meaning – lots of miscommunication. We were both stressed, didn’t want to be there all day, and we were not helping each other through the process as the morning started off. As the morning progressed and we watched videos of other couples have their babies through different methods, we started to lean into each other more. There was more laugher, more cutting up, more normal us. After a break for lunch, we came back into a darkened room and our instructor told us it was time to “learn to breathe”. We all went to different corners of the room with our partners, got in comfortable positions, and started learning how to breathe through labor together. It was very quiet. No talking – just an occasional giggle, or the over-zealous couple that was breathing like they were trying to blow up a balloon. As Luke and I sat together, I became very overwhelmed by the quiet. No one likes silence. It makes you uncomfortable. It makes you think. It makes you examine yourself. In those moments, I let it go. The stress of the morning, the frustration of the pain I was feeling in my back, the videos of babies coming out of their mamas and making me feel like I can’t do this in 7 weeks. I rested on my sweet husband’s shoulder and remembered the important things. In the uncomfortable silence, things began to feel much more comfortable. It made space for me to realize I lack in nothing. I have much to be thankful for. It gave me a few moments to breathe and to put things into perspective. 

So thanks, hospital administrator, for making me take a few mandatory minutes to breathe.